I struggle with the holidays. Thanksgiving that runs into the Christmas season into Christmas into the New Year. I struggle for many reasons. I struggle because it’s a time for family and my family is far away. I struggle because for a time there was so much chaos in my life during the holidays. I struggle because my marriage came to end right after thanksgiving and then the changes that came after were painful.
I don’t struggle because I worry about not giving the right gifts or spending enough money on people. The people in my life know that I buy or make things that i think are appropriate and if they have an issue with my gifts, they’ve never let on. ha. i don’t struggle because i have expectations of gifts or behaviors from others.
i struggle because my past holds me back. i have managed to release my past in so many ways but each year it returns to grab me by my ankles and anchor me in fear. this year i won’t allow it.
each year i have found new ways to embrace the season. the gratitude project is one of my great pleasures that helps me tremendously. i am in search of the “gratitude project” for the season that follows thanksgiving. i have a few ideas rolling around and will share them once they are finalized.
but today. today i am grateful for the holidays. as a whole. they make me stronger, each year facing my past and my fears.
how do you deal with the holidays?