january: prs, hamstrings and fear

so january has been a month of ups and downs (just as every other month along the way). this month’s up was a pr to start the year off and then my running turned to crap. i had so much trouble  doing it, hitting the numbers, hitting the distances and then two weeks ago i went to north carolina to visit my parents. while there i had to do a long run on a treadmill (while being videotaped) and do a swim. easy peasy. at least that’s what i thought. i planned to do my run on saturday and then swim on sunday. so on saturday (after having travelled friday and not eating enough at all or staying hydrated either….as if i didn’t know this would lead to a disaster) i got up, stretched and was ready to run. my parents were ready to video me. this was to send to coach k so she could maybe assess some of my running issues that were already plaguing me. so i started and felt funny. then they videoed and i felt funny. i felt totally off. i adjusted the speed, the height, turned on a fan, drank more…then i felt a serious cramp in left calf. i had only run 3 miles but i had to stop. there was no use in continuing. i was frustrated as hell. but i rolled, stretched, ate, iced, and drank a ton. so again…i tried on sunday. this time was at my parents’ gym and they wouldn’t be videoing. i figured i’d aim to do the remainder of my run, so about 4 miles. so i ran. felt ok. then i had serious pain in my heel. what.the.heck. (except i said something else) i was so frustrated. i got off. i again had only run 3 miles. this isn’t good. i went down to the pool and started swimming. the pain went away in my heel and went right into my hamstring. ugh ugh ugh. totally frustrated i was done. done in my brain for the day and beginning to think that maybe this goal was too far out of my reach. that maybe i had bit off more than i could chew and i would have to quit. the next morning i would reach a breaking point. i woke up and couldn’t move my neck to the right or lift my right arm. i could sort of handle my hamstrings being tight and my hips giving me issues but come on, i needed my arm and my neck. so we left north carolina and i was totally defeated. i knew i had a massage on friday and i was hoping that before then i’d feel better. unfortunately… i didn’t. i melted, i iced, i ate as many inflammation reducing foods i could think of and put into my body. some relief but not a ton. the massage was the best thing ever. and the answer was clear. my hamstrings were so tight that they had pulled on my hips which pulled on my core which pulled on my shoulder which pulled on my neck. our bodies…so connected. so i was feeling rested and more dedicated to stretching and melting. started this past week off great and focused….and then 34.5 inches of snow was dumped on me (well not ME, but where i live) so i’ve spent the week relaxing (multiple snow days) and clearing snow. this week i feel rejuvenated and ready. that fear crept up on me in north carolina but i think i have managed it well. the addition of meditation in my life has helped with that. and this week i have had a great swims, great rides and a great run so far. looking forward to another great run tomorrow. that’ll get my head on straight. i have 6 months till lake placid.