new year, new you…i think not

so happy new year. and happy holidays. of course i had all of these lofty goals to write everyday in december and try to express my gratitude and amazement of all the wonderful women in my life…and i completely failed at that. december turned out to be super busy (shocker) and i just couldn’t get it done. that said. i do think that i am surrounded by amazing women and find them all inspirational and incredible in a variety of ways.

i have a hard time with the mantra “new year, new you”. i have no issues with trying to change or make changes within your life. i also have no issues with transformation or dramatic shifts. what i do have issues with is the idea that since the calendar has changed, YOU, as in the real you, are no longer good enough. that you must be new. that the “old” you must be discarded. i think that those thoughts aren’t useful nor will that change that you are trying to induce will stick at all. i think that creating change and making it real and holding yourself accountable is fantastic. a new year is a great time to do such a thing. but so is tomorrow, or the month of february or the month of july or whenever you are tired of living your life in the fashion you have been or if your lifestyle is no longer making you – you.

i am a goal setter. i enjoy setting goals and making plans to complete those goals. i love lists. i love that idea of getting up in the morning with a plan and getting everything accomplished plus a few extra things. so new year’s resolutions are right up my alley. i have for the past 4 years been mindful of these resolutions. i try hard to think of things that will help my overall being, not just my cosmetic image or my current state, but trying hard to create broad overreaching goals that can be met with small incremental change. and often times, those resolutions follow me to the next year.

so here’s 2015 resolutions:

1) Meditate. I know the benefits. I know how much it helps me. I know how much the benefit to myself helps my relationships with others. My plan is to get up a few minutes earlier each day and do it first. I have a great app on my phone that has some guided meditations and a timer – it’s called Stop, Breathe, Think . Along with mediation I am keeping a small journal that i will jot down whatever few thoughts i have afterwards.

2)  Acceptance. This one is my new challenge. Accepting myself as to where i am in that moment, which may have changed from the previous. this acceptance of myself will help with my acceptance of others and their downfalls.

3) Simplify. I’m clearing stuff out that is no longer necessary – in terms of actual stuff and in terms of stuff in my life that takes up too much space. I’m in the process of figuring out how to limit my own screen time and limit my time on my phone. contemplating doing a technology detox (a la rich roll) This is something i find completely necessary and yet petrifying – which means it’s totally necessary.

4)Continued communication, compromise and health This is a resolution is one that is 3 years old and it’s a continuing practice and struggle.

so as i start this new year with giant goals of athleticism in front of me, i find that my resolutions are actually to limit that broadness and enormity down to the basics. and this is where my journey has taken me – to find myself in the simplest ways, to create peace within myself and then to spread it outwards. continuing this journey and having benchmarks to see progress is necessary for my own peace.

yesterday was the first of the year and i had asked coach k to do a 5k. i hate 5ks. i hate that one has to pay to run a measly 3.1 miles. it just seems so silly. but i also knew i needed to check with my progress in a real tangible measurable way. so a 5k seemed the best way. so the goal was to run this 5k in 26:30 – that’s an 8:30 pace. i had never done any run with that pace for longer than a couple of minutes. hell i hadn’t done a short run with a 9 minute pace. so this was lofty. but i was also focused and determined. it was a great run. flat. flat. flat. out and back. kind of cold but not really any wind. and…. it did it. well. close. i ran it in 27:05. that’s pretty sweet. i even walked a few times in the last mile. i definitely didn’t do it “correctly”- i ran super fast the first mile (8:18) then a bit slower the second and then slower the last.

so as a benchmark to start the year it was rather successful. and now that it is january, shit is real. i mean with me, shit is always real. i am not much for halfway – i truly live the mantra, do or do not, there is no try. i’m either all in or all out. but now. i’m in. in the deep end. lake placid is coming faster and faster. today it feels far away at being 6 and some months out – but that distance is big and 6 months isn’t so far away at all. so as things start to pick up and i start to get a bit loonier my resolutions will be by my side to help guide me back to the basics, bring me back to me.


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