foggy

My brain  feels so funny.

Foggy.

Unclear. 

Like the edges are too dark

And my glasses are dirty.

I feel alone

But

Followed.

Like someone is a few steps

Behind

Me.

My chest hurts and constricts.

Making it both

Hard to breathe

But hard to know

What is happening. 

I graze my skin

Looking for a 

Bump

Or 

Scratch

Or 

Scab.

I pickpickpickpickpick

Until

I feel 

Relief

Or blood.

Are those the same feeling?

Nothing eases the thought

Of someone being inside my home. 

I slide my sleep mask over my eyes

And turn the meditation mix up louder.

Maybe the sound

Of artificial ocean

Will scare away the paranoia

Or the illusions.

I awake

In the night

And feel the hairs on my neck stand 

And 

My stomach turn

As I need to use the bathroom. 

I am instantly relieved 

That the moon

Keeps my place

Illuminated.

And the shadows

Are only from my furniture.

Until I hear that creak and that sigh.