you can’t predict anything

so as hard as i try to control and plan everything, life certainly doesn’t work that way at all. and if i’ve learned anything during this training and keep learning – it’s that i need to go with the flow a bit more. so last week after my fall i spent the week icing and resting. i swam outside finally for real and enjoyed it. being in the wetsuit is always a change for me and i have to get used to the buoyancy that is just freely given. i felt good going into saturday and was pumped for the weekend’s training. i had 15 miles on the calendar and planned to run 5 miles before meeting up with the team. i thought it might be nice to be around people for once. so i woke up early and set off to the y. i was only a mile into the run when my knee and it band started bugging me and causing me pain. i thought maybe it was just the normal early mile annoyances and kept going. by the time i got to the y i was in pain. i put some biofreeze on the areas giving me an issue and thought maybe running intervals with cheryl and kerin might help. the run wasn’t too hilly in comparison to my other runs so i was hoping a slower pace might help my leg. unfortunately my optimism was ill fated. i got to mile 8 and wasn’t sure what to do. i was in pain but knew that resting hadn’t helped. so i thought maybe toughing it out might be ok. so i kept running. the intervals were both a blessing and a curse. hearing the beep to run was like an awful alarm while hearing the beep to walk was such a wonderful sound. not to mention the weather was hot and humid. i was in pain but didn’t want to quit. i just kept thinking that if i quit the run, i might quit the race. kerin and cheryl kept reminding me of what i might tell them in the same situation and i knew they were right but i just didn’t know what to do in my situation. by mile 12 i decided i’d just run home. half a mile later andy drove by and kerin forced me into the truck and andy brought me home. i was in pain. i got out the ice and laid down. i was sad that i couldn’t finish but more concerned that i was racing the following weekend. i had the quassy 70.3 to do the next sunday and i started to think that i might just swim and bike. that i didn’t need to risk my leg getting worse in a race.

over the past few weeks when i did have knee and it band issues i knew that some ice and some rest would help and a good bike ride the following day would fix everything. i was excited to go ride and take back the road after my fall last week. i had 80 miles to do and was going to do 20 miles fast then meet up with bettie to do 60 miles with her. i woke up really early (3:45) and got ready. i was out on my bike at 4:55 and was so excited. then i rode. i barely got down the street and i was already having hip pain. this was new and weird. and instead of doing what i did the day before and toughing it out, i turned around and went home. and cried. and iced.

i wasn’t really sure what to do now. i knew i needed to rest and recover from whatever what hurting me but i couldn’t see past doing that. coach k agreed with shutting me down and told me to contact a physical therapist asap. we would assess as the week progressed if i would or could be able to race quassy. i was sad about this too. quassy is hard and hilly. and i wanted/needed a race to finally see some progress on paper. or something on paper really. i’ve been training and training, i wanted to race. even if it was a training race.

coach k advised me to swim or water run. so i went over to pam’s and water ran in her pool, in my wetsuit. it was cold out and in that pool! but i still had pain after 30 minutes. i was frustrated but trying not to get my spirits dampened.

monday morning i called my doctor, a physical therapist, my acupuncturist and my massage therapist. i got an appointment for pt for the following monday and an acupuncture appointment for tuesday and a massage for saturday that i was prepared to cancel in case i could race. i figured i needed to assemble all healing first then i could discard as needed. i felt good about this plan, even though all i wanted to do was run or bike.

tuesday i had taken a personal day because it was s’s birthday and we wanted to celebrate and sleep in. unfortunately he had a doctor’s appointment that needed to be re-scheduled and it was to 8:00 am. so no sleeping in. i went to bike alley to get keke refit. and he made some significant adjustments to my cleats so hopefully i won’t have any more foot pain. he also showed me a better way to have my hands on the bars so i won’t have as much hand pain. already some progress. then as i was leaving, i got a phone call from the pt place. they had an opening at 12:30!! so i cancelled my acupuncture appointment and got my stuff ready.

when i arrived at the pt appointment, kathleen was there working in the office. it was nice to see her and she had some encouraging words and didn’t seem overly concerned about seeing me or that i was having issues. this was encouraging to me because in my brain i was hoping they wouldn’t think it was crazy to be doing an ironman in 8 weeks. so i met with laurie and she evaluated all sorts of movements. and shock of all shocks. my core isn’t working with my body. or my body doesn’t ever call upon that core. and my leg issues of old (sprained ankle, dvt, etc) could be increasing the weakness. she gave me some exercises and said we would be seeing each other twice a week and we would figure out quassy on thursday. but i couldn’t run or bike until i had no pain while walking.

so after a day of exercises i do feel better. still pain while walking. so coach k and i decided that quassy was a no go. and as hard as that is to do i know it’s the right choice right now. i could probably survive quassy but i might not be able to do lake placid then. and that’s just silliness. so now, i just do my exercises and swim. and slow down a bit.

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