i worry often about presenting myself as someone i am not
2 4 6 8 10 12 14 16 18 20 22 24 26 28 30 32 34
i worry that i am too much or taking up too much space
4 9 16 25 36
i worry about talking over or about other women and not being as good of a listener as all humans deserve
3 + 6 = 9
i worry that the more i learn, the more judgmental rather than accepting i become
36 carries significance. and weight
i worry that as my understanding of the world gets larger that my dreams grow and i won’t actually fly into those spaces i’ve learned
each number carries the weight. can i carry the weight and the significance?
each rotation reminds me
i can rest at the end, at the origin
why does another rotation create this dizzying effect?
at the origin, the beginning
the rotations feel larger
with space to notice
but no time to fix
why does this return make me question so much?
creates the space between each rotation
i feel more me than i’ve ever felt
can i enjoy this space between the rotation?
the perfect square of two numbers
an age that felt innocent
the addition of the digits to create another perfect square
what is perfection in being a square
within and among the rotation feels weighty
it must mean more
or am i adding weight and meaning
that is just the number of rotations?
how can one develop a ritual
beyond the blowing of a candle
one where acceptance
occurs within the rotation rather than only at the origin.