I’ve been thinking a lot about my place within education – I am what the majority of educators are – a white, middle class woman. I am highly educated. I am filled with privilege. When I read The Invisible Knapsack my knapsack is filled with privilege and I am so acutely aware of it as I look out into my classroom each day. I’ve been working hard at understanding the range of students in my classroom through relationship building as well as understanding a range of students in general through Culturally Responsive Teaching and I still feel like I am continually falling short.
My weaknesses are so vast and my understandings of differences are constantly being questioned. I feel very lucky to work with students who are forgiving and flexible as I learn how to work with them daily.
And. This post is about reality, reflections, and being vulnerable. I must share my own barriers in order to remove them. So…here it goes.
I struggle mightily. I struggle with students who are unmotivated – not because I think they don’t care, but because I can’t figure out HOW to motivate them. I struggle with students who don’t speak English – not because I think they are stupid, but I am a talker and I hate not being able to communicate. I struggle with students who don’t come to school – not because I think they hate school or are lazy, but because I don’t know their stories and feel incapable of supporting them. I struggle with introverted students – not because I think they should become extroverted, but I am unsure of how to support them in their showing their knowledge in ways that are comfortable.
I know that I carry with me cultural bias because we all do. And I know that what I carry isn’t always explicit but more often implicit. When I get frustrated that students don’t stay after to complete work, I forget that many students have to work to help out their families – that’s implicit bias. When I correct students on their language or their vernacular, I forget that students speak differently within their cultures – that’s implicit bias. When I think that grades are motivating factors for many students, I forget that many students already feel “less than” through their grades and school – that’s implicit bias.
The more I reveal my barriers and my implicit biases, I more I understand where I need to grow. And in order to serve my students better, I have to be more transparent, in order to grow, even though it feels so uncomfortable to type all of this out. It’s important to reveal our weaknesses because without the revelation of them – we can never grow from and beyond them.
So what happens next? I keep revealing, I keep sitting in the uncomfortableness of my biases – and I grow. I read. I talk. I share. And most importantly, I listen. I listen to my students. I listen to educators of color. I listen. And even when what I hear feels hard or insulting – I must listen because I must hear others’ truths in order to serve better.
lizzie fortin 