Halfway through the month and I feel like i’ve barely scratched the surface to the abundance of goodness in my life!
For many years i hid from my past, lying about what brought me to where i am now or sort of lying or misleading people. The parts where i suffered from devastating depression, the parts where i was married, the parts where i went through a divorce, the parts where i was abusing myself with self hatred, alcohol, and food, the parts that weren’t as lovely or as easy to talk about. the parts that would make me tear up in front of strangers. the parts where the story or explanation was long or convoluted or just felt like too much to share. i felt like people didn’t *need* to know or they wouldn’t understand or they would judge me. i pushed these parts of myself away and tried not to think about them.
no longer am i afraid or ashamed of my past. yes there are things that are tough to talk about and if you don’t mind tears or profanity i’d be happy to share them. most of these stories aren’t polite dinner time talk but it doesn’t really matter, these things are who i am. they make me who i am now – both the soft, emotional parts and the hard, stubborn parts. they make me both trusting of everyone and distrustful of every word. all of these things make me me.
so today, i am grateful for my past – both the good, the bad and the very very ugly.
how do you embrace the parts of yourself or your past that aren’t as pretty as the rest?