this week was supposed to be THE week

this week officially began my first real live build week. i had 11 workouts on the plan – the wcc half on sunday was a training run, a short speed run today (saturday), a swim with patty on monday, a swim on thursday (maintenance), an endurance swim today, spin class with walter on tuesday, a 2:35 maintenance ride on friday, long ride of 3:45 on wednesday, plus pilates and melt strength. i think that’s 11. i have probably missed one but whatever, you get the gist. i’ve also been tracking my food on my fitness pal – not just for calorie consumption but also for nutrition breakdown. coach k feels i haven’t been eating enough protein and although i sort of fought her on this for awhile i definitely see that adding more protein in helps. the calorie counting makes me a bit insane on lighter days but once i see the deficits on big days my brain calms down.

so. this week started lovely with my race/training run. i felt so wonderful. i swam and got my butt kicked like always. although even with getting my butt kicked i managed to get 2950 in less than an hour and that always is a confidence booster. but good gracious i was tired. that was a definite personality trait of mine this week – tiredness. i couldn’t focus. i continued to attempt to get to bed earlier but it just didn’t work out too much earlier at all. then the long ride happened. the plan stated 10:00 warmup, 2:15 in the saddle, 10:00 cool down. and my legs just wouldn’t move. they could stay around 70 rpm but not really get any higher. i kept fueling hoping that it was just lack of fuel but even when sunshine came by my energy level increased but my legs stayed around 78 rpm or so. my butt hurt and my legs wouldn’t  move. but i refused to get off the bike. i was kicking myself for not getting up and doing part of it that morning but wasn’t really sure if that would’ve helped. but i did it. and i was tired. my brain did not beat me, although it didn’t really even try. so by friday when i did my maintenance ride which is the length of normal folks’ long rides i felt good. tired but good. my legs moved well and i felt strong. but i didn’t fuel well afterwards. i was so tired. so tired i couldn’t physically make anything for myself. i desperately needed a personal chef to make something for me. plus my kitchen was almost bare. not good at all.

so this morning i woke up to do my speed run and endurance swim – i can’t call it a long swim since it was only 2200 yards. i was tired. i didn’t want to do another run on the treadmill even though coach k advised me to do so. the sun was out, the air was perfect. i decided to run outside. i set a tempo timer and did my run outside with the ymca team. it was just what i needed. except it didn’t change how tired i was. it only added to it. and i knew that i still had to swim and had so much to get done today. food prep, grocery shopping, grading. grading was the big thing that was a new addition to my weekend since the quarter ended this past week. ugh. i was overwhelmed and emotional. kerin and cheryl gave me good advice and i thought of what jas would do. i went home and climbed right back into bed. the nap was helpful but didn’t fix everything.

i had really hoped to get every workout in this week. i wanted to do it. i’m not as upset with myself as i was earlier mainly because i know it’s wasted energy and i can use that energy to get the rest of the stuff done. it is just disappointing. i am better prepared for this coming week. i have good protein rich snacks. i have easy nutritious fruit prepped. i’m definitely feeling like this next week WILL be the week to get it all in.

i am trying hard to put out into the universe what i want back. positive energy.

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